Children Raising Children

       Being a teenager in our society can be an extremely tough situation. It is a time where one often has to decipher a question like “who am I” and “what do I want to do with my future?” Many adults envy teenagers because they think that they are irresponsible with the opportunity life gives them with a clean fresh start. Although there are exceptions to this theory, this is the case for a certain percentile of teenagers who have taken the reckless path of doing things they are not often mature enough to do. Teen pregnancy is a major problem in a teen’s life because in the majority of times it is unplanned which has an irreversible effect in the teen’s life. Teenagers having sex at an early age is caused by many factors that include:  peer pressure, uneducated beliefs about sex, and the media’s exposure of sex all around us. Although some believe that teenage pregnancy is a problem that only affects certain people in our society, in reality this is an issue that affects everyone and it should become our top priority to prevent unnecessary teen pregnancy. According to the Family First Aid organization, “Thirty-four percent of young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20 -- about 820,000 a year.” This percentage of born babies intoday’s generation is a big issue because it increases our population and decreases resources. Many would like to think that these problems only concerns those involved but this is not the case when unwanted babies are being born as if they were an easy task to handle. Babies are little defenseless creatures who do not ask to be born and many of them face terrible circumstances like negligence and abuse from their irresponsible teen parents. If the parents of the newborn are not educated or prepared to face to a raise a child, they will often struggle the most to face their circumstance because they themselves have trouble dealing with their own lives.

       A solution to this controversial issue is to put all efforts in educating our society and especially the parents of teenagers so they become more aware of the important decision their child is making when they decide to become sexually active. The majority of parents believe that it is taboo to speak about sex to their child but this ridiculous belief must be broken because it is better to know ahead of time what one might face in the future by someone whom one trusts rather than having to make the wrong decisions on one’s own based on things they see done in the TV or by looking at wrong role models. If parents placed more importance in teaching their children about sex while young and growing there would be a less chance for their child to be curious and make dangerous and naïve decisions. Children that had early sexual education are more conscious of sexual matters and are more aware of the consequences of sexual activities, pregnancies and diseases.

Determining when it is the right time for a teenager to engage in sexual activities is a matter of moral and personal belief; this is why this is a controversial topic to discuss.  Abstinence is the most traditional method in avoiding any type of consequence, but in today’s generation a very small percentile of teenagers take this option. Making it easier for teenagers to obtain different types of contraceptive methods is one of the options we have in allowing them to take a safe alternative. Giving teenagers choices will allow them to take smarter decisions and make them contemplate healthier and effective options.

       In today’s society things happen that we would never imagine possible, such as a child being able to give birth at an extremely young age to another little creature. In an ABC  news article,

“10-Year-Old Girl Gives Birth to Daughter”, written by Katie Moisse, we become witnesses to some of the atrocities that occur worldwide. According to the article a 10-year-old Colombian girl gave birth to a healthy baby girl, making her one of the youngest mothers ever. According to the article, Dr. Frederick Gonzalez, a clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at NYU Langone Medical Center states,“These girls are not ready to be pregnant. Their bodies are not mature,” said Gonzalez. “They may be able to get pregnant, but being able to have a baby is a whole other situation.” This is an extreme example to the consequences of premature sexual activity and even though this child was forced to have sexual interactions, someone could have prevented this from occurring. We must learn from example to what not to do. Sexual assault crimes should be stopped and a good way in making this happen is by reinforcing laws against rapist.

       Becoming a parent at a young age can cause teen parents to take extreme actions about their future. According to the stayteeen.org, “Parenthood is the leading reason why teen girls drop out of school…Less than half of teen mothers ever graduate from high school and fewer than 2% earn a college degree by age 30.”Young mothers are notable to juggle managing both school and raising a child. Putting the consequences vs. the pleasure of having unprotected sex on a scale

would really make teenagers realize that it is not worth it to put all of their future at risk because of that spare of the moment.

       Teenagers watch a lot of television and are extremely influenced by the messages confined by it.  MTV has various TV shows like “ 16 and Pregnant” and “Teen Mom” that portray the struggles of young teenage mothers. These TV shows can have a positive influence on its young viewers because they show the reality behind this controversial topic. Every show involves the struggles that young mothers face with relationships and their social lives. Most often the baby’s father chooses to not be responsible and leave the mother to fend for herself. These shows also portray how hard it its to handle the constant disapproval the mothers faced from all of her peers and family members. Each episode tries to emphasize how the young mothers had to give up a great deal of their social lives, and although some don’t, it is made clear that sacrifices need to made when you have a child no matter what age you are.

       Babies are the most precious little human beings on earth but they cannot be overestimated; they required a great deal of commitment and responsibilities. Our society must be concerned about the growing number of teenagers giving birth. Parents should be focus on the well-being of their children. Teaching their kids about sex at a young age will allow them to become wise and responsible adults. They will not be misguided or peer pressured by anyone if they are well informed about the commitment they make when they become sexually active.

Proposal Arguments

1. A problem facing my country is :
Homelessness is a very complex issue that has many aspects that have lead to this problem in america. I think some of the most important problems that lead to homelessness is the increasing rates of unemployment that leave people with no other choice but to live on the streets. Another big issue that causes homelessness is the increasing rates of home foreclosures.
2. A problem I frequently encounter on campus is :
Budget cuts.  Budget cuts affect us as students because it restricts  the number of classes available to us as students making it even  more difficult to register in classes.This is a big issue because there are alot of people trying to get into the same classes and students get stuck waiting to take those classes for extra  unnecessary time.
3. A problem I hear my classmates discussing quite a bit is:
How hard it can be to find parking in the school parking structures and how they often have to park outside of campus because of this problem.
4. A problem people have been trying to solve for years is:
Immigration laws. Immigration in this country is a big issue because nobody seems to be in the same page. Our government does not know what do to with all the immigrants that are on our country. Republicans and democrats both have different views on the subject and do not take any action toward solving an adequate solution.
5. A problem that I heard about in the news is:
Teachers  molesting  young students. This has been a hot topic of discussion in the news lately and it seems that this is occurring more in  elementary schools. This just concern us all because kids are the future of our country and we cannot let them become victims to sick minded individuals. Everyone must be aware that this can happen in any place, to any child so as brothers , sisters, aunts, moms, dads, cousins, etc we must be in the look out for any suspicious thing.
6. A law that I object to :
Is Arizona's SB 1070 law. This law  basically intensifies the criminalization of undocumented immigrants in that state. The majority of immigrants are hard workers who come to this country to provide their family with better opportunities in life. They have to endure many things while working for low paying wages in "dirty" jobs that others do not want to do
7. A misguided school policy is :
The limitation on the number of units we are able to take as college students. The cost of tuition is increasing each years and it will cost us a lot of unnecessary money since we are only allowed to take 15 units per semester.
8. A public policy that makes my life or other people's lives more difficult :
Is having to be careful where we park because if could be towed away or given a ticket.
9. A public policy or law that could be improved is:
The law that makes animal shelter kill the animals after a certain amount of time of being at their location. I think this is very sad and these animals should be given more time to see if someone adopts them.

Battered Women

 

Your Assignment/Pay It Forward

While utilizing the concepts from Pay it Forward, write about one social problem (Homelessness/Poverty, Alcohol/Drug Addiction, Bullying, Domestic Abuse (Battered Women and/or Child Abuse)), and Hunger and argue how the community and you need to “pay it forward” in order to affect a change.

Some questions to help develop your essay:

What is the space you are analyzing and examining? 

What are the implications of such a space upon the idea you are exploring in relationship to Homelessness/Poverty, Alcohol/Drug Addiction, Bullying, and Domestic Abuse (Battered Women and/or Child Abuse).  

What are the issues related or reflected by such space? 

What are your thoughts/ideas about such space? 

Do you have a position on the issues reflected by the space of your focus?

Is there a specific social and/or political issue associated with this space?

Does the space reflect socioeconomic concerns?

Are certain issues connected/related to particular spaces and this issue?

Protecting the Women

The battered women syndrome is defined by the online dictionary.com as “the array of physical and psychological injuries exhibited by women (battered women or battered wives) who have been beaten repeatedly or otherwise abused by their partners or spouses.” Many women in America endure this hateful act of crime nowadays and the majority of them become helpless and scared in their circumstance.  Although some people think that domestic violence is something that one can easily escape from, actually there are many contributing factors that incapacitate the victims from fleeing their abusers.

         Violence can be inflicted by both physical and psychological means in a person. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence an estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. When the numbers are so high in the number of victims it is very difficult to turn our backs on this delicate subject. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence also states, “The consequences of violence against women is often accompanied by emotionally abusive and controlling behavior, and thus is part of a systematic pattern of dominance and control.” The abuser seeks ways in which to keep control of their partner which may include: sexual assault, intimidation, isolation, economic dependency, and threats against loved ones. 

Although emotional abuse is not physically harmful it is often the one that has the most traumatic effect on its victims. If a person thinks they are worthless and that they deserve to be punished, they will most likely tolerate the most abuse in the relationship.

Emotional abuse can make a person become mentally ill with severe depression and other mental illnesses. It can cause them to neglect their health and increase their changes in committing suicide and/or abuse substances. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “Psychologically abusive men are more likely to use a weapon against their partners, have prior criminal arrests, abuse substances, and have employment problems.” When there is no one to overlook at a person’s actions these individuals will loose control of their actions and if no one tells them they are wrong they think that they are not harming anyone.

The harmful consequence that domestic violence imposes on the majority of its victims is irreversible and for some it may be fatal. According to the

Futureswithoutviolence.org, “On average more than three women a day are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends in the United States.  In 2005, 1,181 women were murdered by an intimate partner”. Innocent women are at risk of becoming part of this statistic when they neglect to report their abuse to the authorities and seek professional help. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “Domestic violence is one of the most chronically underreported crimes”, women who are psychologically and/or physically abused become intimidated and terrified that will often keep their chronic situation a secret from the outside world.

Battered women may be in denial for admitting the situation they are living in. In most cases, women believe that their love for their partner will someday make his abusive behavior stop and/or they will eventually change on their own free will. The victims often blame themselves for their abusers’ behavior. According to an online organization named helpguide.org, the key to success is putting one’s life’s safety in priority and realizing that each individual deserves to be happy, safe, and respected in a healthy environment free of violence.

         Domestic violence is problem that can occur to any one and it does not discriminate against any gender , class systems, or sizes.  It is up to us to be able to detect the early signs and get help as soon as possible so that there is no chance of having to face its horrific consequences. In the majority of cases, we can detect early stages in an abuser’s behavior which gives a warning on what might be faced in the future. The online helpguide organization for domestic violence has come up with a systematic way of recognizing the “cycle of violence in domestic abuse”. Their list starts off with the “abuse” which is designed to show one who the “boss” is. The “guilt” factor in which the abuser is worried about being caught for his actions. The abuser then comes up with “Excuses” to avoid taking any responsibilities for his actions and then he pretends nothing has happened and he is in his “normal behavior” just to gain the victims trust again. The abuser finally “fantasizes and plans” new ways in which he can cause harm to his partner and then he goes on a rampage starting the cycle all over again.

One way that our society can help make a difference in stopping domestic violence is to expand our knowledge about the subject. If everyone knew the reality of the situation and everything that a victim goes through because of his/her situation then there will be a higher percentage of people concerned on the subject who could advocate for stricter laws against violent offenders. If we made everyone realize that violence is not necessary and correct than people would become more eager to stand up against this behavior and instead of simply witnessing the situation without doing anything they would try to get the authorities involved.

The majority of victims in domestic violence are not aware that there are places exclusively designed to help them overcome their circumstance. In most cases theses women think that if they try to run away, they will be caught and face a harsher and deadlier punishment by their abuser. There are local institutions and organizations that are equipped with counselors, physiologist, shelters, and occupational workshops that will allow them to become financially independent.

We must change the perception in people who think that domestic violence is a harmless problem in our society that only affects very few people in our society.  We must expand our resources in order to help battered women flee from their nightmares. Women need to become more aware of all the resources that are available for them in order to overcome their hell and be able to become independent in our society. No one deserves to be treated cruel and be physically and psychological harmed by someone else. In order for women to overcome their circumstance they must know that that they are not alone and their life matters.

The Less Fortunate

          In “The Meanest Cities”, the editors of America Magazine claim that our society is constantly making new laws against the homeless people in efforts to refining our society. This is generating a social barrier which makes the homeless even more vulnerable to discrimination and injustice. According to the editors of America Magazine, “Nationwide, there have been a 12- percent increase in ordinances that prohibit begging in public spaces” (543). They state that cities like Sarasota-Florida, Atlanta-Georgia and Lawrence-Kansas have pass irrational laws that criminalize daily life activities of the homeless. These laws prohibit or limit sitting, eating or sleeping in public spaces including sidewalks and bus stations. They also state that in the city of Atlanta- Georgia it is a crime to accept food from charities in public spaces and those who disobey the law could face up to a two thousand dollar fine.    

            In “Throw the Bums Out: But Do So with Compassion- Coolidge-Style Compassion ”  John Derbyshire alleges that the homeless are an “appalling vagrancy problem”(543).  While at his visit to the new Asian Art Museum in San Francisco he witnessed the conditions of the places the homeless inhabit and became appalled. Derbyshire stated “the new library built …cost …$137 million”(543), he argues that it is not fair that the city spend so much money trying to beautify the communities and the homeless simply take over the public spaces and trash and vandalize the surroundings. The author argues that the homeless are an out of control problem that can no longer be tolerated. The view points of this author are extremely harsh; he views the homeless as the rotten fruits of our society.

               In "Brother, Don't Spare A Dime" Christopher Awalt argues that the homeless have become "a danger to public safety." He believes that the majority of homeless people are lazy and that they chose their lifestyles. He also addresses those few exceptions to his beliefs and says that they are "responsible citizens" who are off the streets in a short period of time. He bases his argument  on his one time experience he had with an older man who he help get off the streets and he ended disappointing him by becoming homeless again.

          The article I agree the most is “The Meanest Cities” by the editors of America Magazine. I think that there are   very complex situations in life that make homeless people be in their circumstances. Some of this situation might be due to mental illness, domestic violence, substance abuse, decline in public assistance, disintegrating work opportunities and the lack of affordable housing . I think that we have to provide more help for the less fortunate; we can do this by having preventing programs that help those who are about to loose their house or lost a job, etc.

       Near the Topanga mall I always see this old man with his dog; he always stays near the same places. He has a little cart with all of his belonging and he always has his dog with him. He really touches my heart because even though he might not have food or shelter he always keeps his companion dog with him. I have always wanted to come up and give him money or something but usually when I see him I’m in the car going somewhere. There was this one time that I went to In-N-Out and he was outside and it was a hot day I was going to buy him something to eat and then I noticed somebody had already bought him a drink and food. The old man did something that I though was really sweet; he came and filled his dog’s water bowl and then he went back inside to get his food.

 

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Project I: ESSAY 1

In class, we have engaged in a literary and textual analysis of Jeannette Walls’ The Glass Castle and read several essays that discuss ideas involving “home,” “parent-child relationships,” and parenting in general.  As such, for your essay you have several approaches to choose from:

A.    Argue whether or not Rose Mary and Rex Walls were “unfit parents”. Would Jeannette and her siblings have been better off living in foster care? Was it in the children’s best interest to grow up with their parents or would they have been better off removed from the home?

Overcoming Hardships

            According to the Merriam Webster online Dictionary, the word “family” means a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head. The Walls family fit under that characteristic but they were far from the average family. The Walls children had to endure numerous hardships in life which later on enabled them to become successful and productive members of society. Although some people might argue that the Walls children would have been better off if they were removed from their home and placed under foster care, actually it was in the children’s best interest to grow up with their parents even if this meant having to overcome difficult times because of their parent’s lack of parenting skills.

            In Robert Epstein’s article, "What makes a Good Parent?" there are ten skills that are believed to influence good outcomes with raising a child: love, affection, stress management, relationship skills, autonomy, independence, education, learning, life skills, behavior management, health, religion, and safety. Of course statistics like this are made so that the parents become aware and improve their parenting skills but how can one truly  measure if their child becomes successful or not? In Rex and Rose Mary’s point of view, they were living the American dream because to them every obstacle they faced was an adventure. Our culture and beliefs affect how we interpret the outside world especially how we treat our children. These two individuals had to endure both physical and psychological abuse from their parents and this is what set the standard of being a parent for them. With no one to set standards of what it takes to raise a child they were forced to accommodate their unhealthy life style with their kids.

            Rex Walls and Rose Mary were undoubtedly “unfit parents”. Although they did not physically or psychologically abuse their children, their lack of concern and responsibility as immature grown-ups forced the Walls children to grow up quickly. Some of the essential skills Robert Epstein discusses in his article are descriptions of what any normal responsible parent would implement with their child. The Walls parenting skills were far from any of those discussed in this article, yet they did as best as they could manage.

            However, based on the essential skills one can say that Rose Mary’s top competencies as a parent was teaching her kids to become independent and self sufficient. Through her lack of supervision and care her kids had to manage to find food on their own. Jeannette once described how much they had to go through in order to find food, “When other girls came in and threw away their lunch bags in the garbage pails, I’d go retrieve them” (173). Rose Mary taught them that they couldn’t depend on anyone but themselves and in the long run this made them successful individuals which was very important to their growth.  

            Another quality of Rose Mary was managing to stay calm under any circumstance even when faced with danger, Jeannette opens up her memoir by describing a scenario that took place when she was only three years old and was cooking a hotdog by herself on the stove and she was burned, “Mom in an unnaturally calm voice, explained what had happened and asked if we could please have a ride to the hospital “(9-10).Any responsible mother  would have never allowed her child that young to cook by herself and if something happened they would have panicked not knowing what the poor child was going to have to endure. Rose Mary was not a loving or affectionate parent; she was stuck between the life she dreamed of as painter and reality. Being raised by a nagging mother, Rose Mary chose to be extremely uncaring about her children’s health, safety and overall well-being. She could barely manage to take care of herself let alone taking care of four children.

            Rex Walls had a diverse way of raising his children; he believed that they needed

to be exposed to things in order for them to learn on their own how to handle things, “If you don’t want to sink, you better figure out how to swim” (66). In his own very special way, Rex Walls loved his children because he taught them to be independent, and self sufficient. He taught them life lessons that he believed could come in usefulness in the future. At times it seemed he loved the numbness that alcohol provided him more than his kids. He was never a role model for his children; he had the worst habits and lifestyle any adult can have. On more than one occasion Rex Walls abused the love and trust Jeannette had towards him.  A good portrayal of this is when the check for lease on Rose Mary’s Texas land came in the mail and Rex tricked Jeannette in trusting him with the money and said “Let’s hide it together” (Walls 214). To Rex everything was a big adventure, he did not care that that money was to provide for his children; his only concern was getting money to spend on alcohol and winning money from games of billiards. Even with all of his undesirable traits, his children loved him and they looked up to him when they were little. On one occasion, he said to Jeannette, "But you always loved your old man, didn't you?" "I did, Dad," I said. "And you always loved me" (279). Jeannette and Rex Walls shared a very special father and daughter relationship. Out of all his kids Jeannette was always the one who trusted him and made up excuses to forgive his poor behavior. In spite of this, when Jeannette needed money to pay for her college tuition and would of otherwise had been forced to drop out, her father was the one that gave her the money (Walls, 264-265).  This act of kindness from her father gave Jeannette the satisfaction of knowing that her father truly cared for her.

American writer Mario Puzo once commented, “The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other”. A family is believed to be one of the strongest bonds any human can encounter and trying to make a family come apart will always cause more harm than good. Even if the Walls children had to endure hunger, homelessness, and dangerous situations, at the end of the day they had each other and they knew that they could protect one another if they remained together. According to the National Resource Center for Permanency and Family Connections, “58,343 children were in the foster care system in California on September 30, 2010,” with some many children to look after in foster care there is no guarantee that they will be better taken care of than with their families.  If the Walls children would have been taken to foster care, they would have most likely been separated and that would have destroyed them and they probably would not have become prosperous individuals with Maureen being the one exception. All of the struggles they had to endure in their child-hood marked a difference in their lives. Their circumstances made them want to reach for higher goals in life. If they didn’t fight for what they wanted they would eventually had followed their parent’s foot steps.

            There are no right ways of how to teach a child, one must find the right balance in between things and try to provide their kids with what they believe is best for them. Remember that raising a child is not a game and that every choice one makes could potentially affect the rest of the child’s life. No matter what the circumstances are, remember that family comes first and that a bond that is strong is not easily broken by anyone.  In spite of Rose Mary and Rex Walls lack of parenting skills they managed to raise three out of four successful children. In the end, having endured difficult times while dealing with their “unfit” parents allowed the majority of the Walls Children to become successful individuals in our society.

Works Cited

Epstein, Robert. "What Makes a Good Parent?: Scientific American." Science News, Articles and             Information. Scientific American, 4 Nov. 2010. Web. 14 Feb. 2012.             <http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=what-makes-a-good-parent>.

"Family." Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Web. 14 Feb. 2012. <http://www.merriam-            webster.com/dictionary/family>.

"Foster Care Fact Sheets." Facts about Children in Foster Care in California.

www.fostecaremonth.org, 2 May 2011. Web. 03 Mar. 2012. <http://www.hunter.cuny.edu/socwork/nrcfcpp/info_services/fact-sheets.html>.

Puzo, Mario. "Family Quotes." Notable Quotes. Web. 14 Feb. 2012. <http://www.notable-            quotes.com/f/family_quotes.html>.

Walls, Jeannette. The Glass Castle: A Memoir. New York: Scribner, 2005. Print.