Project I: ESSAY 1
In class, we have engaged in a literary and textual analysis of Jeannette Walls’ The Glass Castle and read several essays that discuss ideas involving “home,” “parent-child relationships,” and parenting in general. As such, for your essay you have several approaches to choose from:
A. Argue whether or not Rose Mary and Rex Walls were “unfit parents”. Would Jeannette and her siblings have been better off living in foster care? Was it in the children’s best interest to grow up with their parents or would they have been better off removed from the home?
Overcoming Hardships
According to the Merriam Webster online Dictionary, the word “family” means a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head. The Walls family fit under that characteristic but they were far from the average family. The Walls children had to endure numerous hardships in life which later on enabled them to become successful and productive members of society. Although some people might argue that the Walls children would have been better off if they were removed from their home and placed under foster care, actually it was in the children’s best interest to grow up with their parents even if this meant having to overcome difficult times because of their parent’s lack of parenting skills.
In Robert Epstein’s article, "What makes a Good Parent?" there are ten skills that are believed to influence good outcomes with raising a child: love, affection, stress management, relationship skills, autonomy, independence, education, learning, life skills, behavior management, health, religion, and safety. Of course statistics like this are made so that the parents become aware and improve their parenting skills but how can one truly measure if their child becomes successful or not? In Rex and Rose Mary’s point of view, they were living the American dream because to them every obstacle they faced was an adventure. Our culture and beliefs affect how we interpret the outside world especially how we treat our children. These two individuals had to endure both physical and psychological abuse from their parents and this is what set the standard of being a parent for them. With no one to set standards of what it takes to raise a child they were forced to accommodate their unhealthy life style with their kids.
Rex Walls and Rose Mary were undoubtedly “unfit parents”. Although they did not physically or psychologically abuse their children, their lack of concern and responsibility as immature grown-ups forced the Walls children to grow up quickly. Some of the essential skills Robert Epstein discusses in his article are descriptions of what any normal responsible parent would implement with their child. The Walls parenting skills were far from any of those discussed in this article, yet they did as best as they could manage.
However, based on the essential skills one can say that Rose Mary’s top competencies as a parent was teaching her kids to become independent and self sufficient. Through her lack of supervision and care her kids had to manage to find food on their own. Jeannette once described how much they had to go through in order to find food, “When other girls came in and threw away their lunch bags in the garbage pails, I’d go retrieve them” (173). Rose Mary taught them that they couldn’t depend on anyone but themselves and in the long run this made them successful individuals which was very important to their growth.
Another quality of Rose Mary was managing to stay calm under any circumstance even when faced with danger, Jeannette opens up her memoir by describing a scenario that took place when she was only three years old and was cooking a hotdog by herself on the stove and she was burned, “Mom in an unnaturally calm voice, explained what had happened and asked if we could please have a ride to the hospital “(9-10).Any responsible mother would have never allowed her child that young to cook by herself and if something happened they would have panicked not knowing what the poor child was going to have to endure. Rose Mary was not a loving or affectionate parent; she was stuck between the life she dreamed of as painter and reality. Being raised by a nagging mother, Rose Mary chose to be extremely uncaring about her children’s health, safety and overall well-being. She could barely manage to take care of herself let alone taking care of four children.
Rex Walls had a diverse way of raising his children; he believed that they needed
to be exposed to things in order for them to learn on their own how to handle things, “If you don’t want to sink, you better figure out how to swim” (66). In his own very special way, Rex Walls loved his children because he taught them to be independent, and self sufficient. He taught them life lessons that he believed could come in usefulness in the future. At times it seemed he loved the numbness that alcohol provided him more than his kids. He was never a role model for his children; he had the worst habits and lifestyle any adult can have. On more than one occasion Rex Walls abused the love and trust Jeannette had towards him. A good portrayal of this is when the check for lease on Rose Mary’s Texas land came in the mail and Rex tricked Jeannette in trusting him with the money and said “Let’s hide it together” (Walls 214). To Rex everything was a big adventure, he did not care that that money was to provide for his children; his only concern was getting money to spend on alcohol and winning money from games of billiards. Even with all of his undesirable traits, his children loved him and they looked up to him when they were little. On one occasion, he said to Jeannette, "But you always loved your old man, didn't you?" "I did, Dad," I said. "And you always loved me" (279). Jeannette and Rex Walls shared a very special father and daughter relationship. Out of all his kids Jeannette was always the one who trusted him and made up excuses to forgive his poor behavior. In spite of this, when Jeannette needed money to pay for her college tuition and would of otherwise had been forced to drop out, her father was the one that gave her the money (Walls, 264-265). This act of kindness from her father gave Jeannette the satisfaction of knowing that her father truly cared for her.
American writer Mario Puzo once commented, “The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other”. A family is believed to be one of the strongest bonds any human can encounter and trying to make a family come apart will always cause more harm than good. Even if the Walls children had to endure hunger, homelessness, and dangerous situations, at the end of the day they had each other and they knew that they could protect one another if they remained together. According to the National Resource Center for Permanency and Family Connections, “58,343 children were in the foster care system in California on September 30, 2010,” with some many children to look after in foster care there is no guarantee that they will be better taken care of than with their families. If the Walls children would have been taken to foster care, they would have most likely been separated and that would have destroyed them and they probably would not have become prosperous individuals with Maureen being the one exception. All of the struggles they had to endure in their child-hood marked a difference in their lives. Their circumstances made them want to reach for higher goals in life. If they didn’t fight for what they wanted they would eventually had followed their parent’s foot steps.
There are no right ways of how to teach a child, one must find the right balance in between things and try to provide their kids with what they believe is best for them. Remember that raising a child is not a game and that every choice one makes could potentially affect the rest of the child’s life. No matter what the circumstances are, remember that family comes first and that a bond that is strong is not easily broken by anyone. In spite of Rose Mary and Rex Walls lack of parenting skills they managed to raise three out of four successful children. In the end, having endured difficult times while dealing with their “unfit” parents allowed the majority of the Walls Children to become successful individuals in our society.
Works Cited
Epstein, Robert. "What Makes a Good Parent?: Scientific American." Science News, Articles and Information. Scientific American, 4 Nov. 2010 . Web. 14 Feb. 2012 . <http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=what-makes-a-good-parent>.
"Family." Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster. Web. 14 Feb. 2012 . <http://www.merriam- webster.com/dictionary/family>.
"Foster Care Fact Sheets." Facts about Children in Foster Care in California.
www.fostecaremonth.org, 2 May 2011. Web. 03 Mar. 2012. <http://www.hunter.cuny.edu/socwork/nrcfcpp/info_services/fact-sheets.html>.
Puzo, Mario. "Family Quotes." Notable Quotes. Web. 14 Feb. 2012 . <http://www.notable- quotes.com/f/family_quotes.html>.
Walls, Jeannette. The Glass Castle New York
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